Apin's heart pounded in her chest as she entered the dimly lit garage, the smell of oil and gasoline tickling her nose. She glanced around, her eyes adjusting to the low light, before settling on her target: an old circular saw, its blade covered in rust and grime. She couldn't help but smirk at the irony of her choice of weapon.
With a grunt, she dragged the saw out from its resting place, her muscles straining against the weight. She set it up on a wooden table, her hands shaking slightly as she plugged it in. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come.
Apin glanced at her reflection in the window, her eyes filled with a strange mix of determination and sadness. "Well, Apin," she muttered to herself, "this is it. You're really gonna do this."
She hesitated for a moment, her mind racing with thoughts of what led her to this point. The cruel jokes, the mean-spirited pranks, the way she hurt people without a second thought. With a snarl, she pushed those thoughts aside. "Screw 'em," she said, her voice filled with venom. "They don't deserve my tears."
She grabbed the saw's handle, her knuckles white with tension. She stared at the blade, her mind going blank with fear. "Come on, Apin," she whispered, her voice shaking. "You can do this. You deserve this."
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger. The saw roared to life, its blade spinning dangerously fast. Apin's heart raced as she brought the saw closer to her wrist, her hands trembling with fear.
Suddenly, she heard a voice in her head, a voice that sounded suspiciously like her best friend, Emily. "Apin, you're being a total idiot," the voice said.
Apin's eyes snapped open, and she glared at the saw. "Shut up, Emily," she snapped. "You don't know what I've been through."
The voice laughed. "Oh, I know exactly what you've been through, you selfish brat. And you know what? You deserve every bit of pain coming your way."
Apin's eyes filled with tears, and she felt a sudden surge of shame. "I'm sorry, Emily," she whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
The voice softened. "I know you didn't, Apin. But that doesn't mean you get to off yourself with a circular saw. That's just ridiculous."
Apin's shoulders slumped, and she let go of the saw, the blade slowing to a stop. She sunk to the floor, her back against the cold concrete, and buried her face in her hands.
"Why did I ever think this was a good idea?" she muttered, her voice muffled by her hands.
The voice was silent for a moment before responding. "Because you're scared, Apin. And hurt. And you don't know how to deal with it."
Apin nodded, her shoulders shaking with sobs. "I just wanted the pain to stop," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
The voice was gentle. "I know, Apin. But this isn't the way to do it. You deserve so much more than this."
Apin looked up, her eyes red and puffy. "I do?" she asked, her voice filled with doubt.
The voice was firm. "Yes, you do. You're strong, and smart, and capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for."
Apin wiped her tears away, a small spark of hope igniting in her chest. "I am?" she asked, her voice filled with wonder.
The voice was kind. "Yes, you are. And it's time for you to start believing it."
Apin took a deep breath, her resolve strengthening. She stood up, her legs shaky but determined. She picked up the circular saw, her grip firm and steady.
"Okay, Emily," she said, her voice filled with determination. "I'm ready to start believing it."
(To be continued in Chapter Two...)
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