The school cafeteria was filled with the cacophony of a thousand students, the air thick with the smell of greasy pizza and hormones. Amidst the chaos, a group of four girls sat together at a table, their laughter and easy banter cutting through the din. Anna, Sasha, Yana, and Karina had been friends since freshman year, and they had a bond that was stronger than steel.
As they chatted and joked, a sudden rumbling in their stomachs made them pause. Anna was the first to speak up. "I think someone's digestion is louder than our conversation."
Sasha shot back, "It's not me, I swear. I had a salad for lunch."
Yana rolled her eyes. "Of course, you did. You're such a health nut."
Karina grinned. "I think we should have a race to the bathroom. First one to the stall wins."
The girls jumped up from their seats, their competitive spirits ignited. But when they arrived at the bathroom, they found that all the stalls were occupied.
Yana and Anna quickly claimed the two available stalls, leaving Sasha and Karina to find a solution. They looked at each other and shrugged. "I guess we'll have to go outside," Sasha said.
They made their way to the bathroom window and climbed out into the bushes. As they relieved themselves, they continued their banter.
"I can't believe you're squatting like that," Sasha said, laughing. "You look like a flamingo."
Karina stuck her tongue out. "At least I'm not squatting like a frog. You're going to give yourself a charley horse."
After finishing their business, they returned to the bathroom to wash their hands. As they stood at the sink, the argument resumed.
"Okay, whose farts smell the worst?" Karina asked.
Yana raised her hand. "Guilty as charged. I had chili for lunch."
Anna sniffed the air. "I think Sasha's are the worst. She had garlic bread."
Sasha put her hands on her hips. "Hey, I'll have you know that garlic is good for your digestion."
The girls couldn't help but notice the different shapes and colors of each other's poop.
"Wow, Yana, your poop is really dark," Karina said.
Yana looked at her friends, a mischievous glint in her eye. "At least it's not green like Sasha's."
Sasha looked offended. "Hey, I'll have you know that green poop is a sign of a healthy gut."
They started commenting on who had the most attractive poop.
"I think Anna's poop is the prettiest," Karina said. "It's nice and compact."
Anna grinned. "Thanks, Karina. I try my best."
Sasha had an idea. "Hey, why don't we all pee in a cup and compare the color and smell?"
The friends lined up their cups on the sink and analyzed the contents.
"Wow, Yana, your pee is really dark," Karina said.
Yana shrugged. "I told you I had chili for lunch."
They decided to have a peeing contest to see who could produce the most volume.
"Okay, on the count of three," Anna said. "One, two, three!"
The girls peed into their cups, their competitive spirits flaring.
When they finished, they measured the volume of each cup.
"Wow, Sasha, you won," Karina said. "You produced the most volume."
Sasha grinned. "I told you I had a lot of water today."
The winner got to choose the topic of conversation for the rest of the day.
"Okay, since I won, we're going to talk about the hottest celebrities," Sasha said.
The girls cheered and made their way back to their table, their bond stronger than ever.
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