The air was thick with the scent of wildflowers and damp earth as Nathan hit the ground with a graceless thud, his cargo shorts snagging on a rogue twig. One minute, he’d been sprawled on his creaky couch, halfway through a particularly steamy episode of his favorite ecchi anime, and the next, some smug, disembodied voice claiming to be a god had cackled about a “fresh start in paradise” before yeeting him into... wherever this was. A lush forest clearing stretched out around him, framed by towering trees with leaves so green they looked photoshopped. A sparkling stream sliced through the greenery, its gentle babble almost mocking his current state of utter confusion.
“Alright, Nathan, don’t panic,” he muttered to himself, brushing dirt off his ratty t-shirt as he stood. “This is just... a very vivid dream. Or a VR game. Or—holy crap, did I die and get isekai’d?” His eyes lit up with the realization, a grin spreading across his scruffy face. “If this is an isekai, there’s gotta be a harem waiting. Boobs, banter, the works. Let’s do this!”
He barely had time to adjust his metaphorical protagonist cape before the sound of voices—feminine, sharp, and annoyingly close—cut through his fantasy. Stumbling toward the stream, he caught sight of two women who looked like they’d stepped straight out of his wildest anime dreams. One, a fiery redhead with twin tails and emerald eyes that could burn holes through steel, was bent over a patch of herbs in an outfit that could only be described as “armor for perverts.” Her cropped leather top strained against her ample chest, and her skirt—sweet merciful gods, that skirt—was so short it might as well have been a belt. The other, a silver-haired beauty with icy blue eyes, stood nearby, her sheer mage robe clinging to her slender, busty frame like a second skin, the plunging neckline and thigh-high slits leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.
Nathan’s brain short-circuited. “Jackpot,” he whispered, wiping a nonexistent bead of sweat from his brow. This was it. His moment. Time to channel every smooth-talking anime lead he’d ever idolized. Adjusting his posture to what he thought was “casually heroic,” he sauntered over, one hand in his pocket, the other raised in a lazy wave.
“Hey, ladies,” he drawled, voice dripping with what he hoped was charm. “Lost in the woods, huh? Lucky for you, I’m here to... guide you through life’s tangled paths. Name’s Nathan. Care to share yours, or should I just call you ‘goddess’?”
The redhead, Lyria, snapped upright, her crimson hair whipping around as she fixed him with a glare that could melt glaciers. “What in the seven hells is this clumsy oaf babbling about?” she barked, hands on her hips, completely ignoring the way her skirt rode up with the motion. “Who are you, and why are you skulking around spying on us like some kind of creep?”
Nathan blinked, thrown off by the sheer venom in her tone but undeterred. “Spying? Nah, I’m just a humble traveler, drawn by the beauty of... nature.” His eyes flicked unsubtly to her curves before darting back to her face. “And, uh, speaking of beauty, you’re rocking that outfit like a queen. Where’d you even get armor that... aerodynamic?”
Lyria’s eyes narrowed, and she took a menacing step forward, her sun-kissed skin practically glowing with irritation. “Aerodynamic? What kind of nonsense is that? This is practical gear, you idiot. And stop staring like a brain-dead beast—I can see your drool from here.”
Before Nathan could stammer out a defense, the silver-haired woman, Seline, tilted her head, her icy gaze pinning him in place. Her voice was cool, almost detached, but carried an edge of curiosity. “You smell... different,” she said, stepping closer, the sheer fabric of her robe shimmering in the dappled sunlight. “Not like the forest. Not like anything I’ve encountered. It’s... oddly pleasant. What are you?”
Nathan’s face split into a goofy grin, misinterpreting her blunt observation as a come-on. “Pleasant, huh? Well, babe, I’ve got plenty more where that came from. Stick around, and I’ll show you just how... different I can be.” He winked, or at least attempted to—it came off more like a twitch.
Seline’s expression didn’t budge. “I’m not sure what you’re implying, but your tone is as strange as your scent. Are all of your kind this... peculiar?”
“My kind?” Nathan echoed, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m just a guy, y’know? A regular, red-blooded dude. But if you wanna get to know me better, I’m all ears. And eyes. And—uh—other stuff.”
Lyria snorted, crossing her arms, which only accentuated her already distracting figure. “A ‘dude’? Is that what you call a useless lump who can’t even walk without tripping over his own feet? If you’re trying to impress us, you’re failing harder than a goblin in a spelling contest.”
Nathan laughed, rubbing his hands together. “Oh, I love a challenge. How ‘bout I help with those herbs? Show you I’m not just a pretty face.” Without waiting for permission, he swaggered over to Lyria’s basket, only to promptly trip over a gnarled root. His flailing hand caught the edge of her tiny skirt as he went down, yanking it up and exposing a generous swath of her flawless thigh.
His face turned tomato-red as he scrambled to his knees, expecting a scream or a slap. Instead, Lyria just huffed, yanking the fabric back into place with zero trace of embarrassment. “Watch where you’re grabbing, you bumbling idiot,” she snapped, brushing off her leg like it was no big deal. “If you’re going to be this useless, at least stay out of my way.”
Nathan gaped, his pervy brain struggling to process the lack of reaction. “Y-you’re not... mad? I mean, I just—uh—saw... stuff.”
Seline, observing the exchange with her usual calm, tilted her head again. “Why are you so flustered? It’s just skin. You act as if you’ve never seen a leg before. Are you unwell?”
“Unwell? No, I’m—uh—very well, actually,” Nathan stammered, his eyes darting between them as they stood there, utterly unfazed by their own near-nudity or his blatant ogling. “I just... didn’t expect such, uh, confidence. You’re both... wow. Just wow.”
Lyria rolled her eyes so hard it was practically audible. “If you’re done drooling over nothing, maybe you can explain what kind of weird creature you are. Those clothes—disgusting. That scruffy face—hideous. And that voice! It’s so... deep. Are you some kind of mutated troll?”
“Mutated troll?!” Nathan sputtered, clutching his chest in mock offense. “I’ll have you know, this is peak human hotness where I come from. And this voice? Pure velvet, baby. You’ll be begging to hear it whisper sweet nothings in no time.”
Seline raised a perfectly arched brow. “Whispering? For what purpose? Your words make no sense, odd-smelling wanderer.”
Before Nathan could dig himself a deeper hole, Lyria threw up her hands in exasperation. “Enough of this nonsense. We’re taking you to Elyndria. Someone there can figure out what to do with... whatever you are. I’m not babysitting a clueless oaf all day.”
Nathan’s heart did a little flip at the mention of a town. A town meant more women. More skimpy outfits. Maybe even a hot spring episode waiting to happen. “Elyndria, huh? Sounds like my kind of place. Lead the way, ladies. I’m all yours.”
Lyria shot him a withering look. “Keep dreaming, creep. Move your legs before I drag you there by that scruffy chin.”
Seline, trailing behind with an air of mild curiosity, added, “I’m only coming to see if the elders know what to make of you. Don’t mistake my interest for anything else.”
As they started toward the edge of the clearing, Nathan couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off his face. Sure, these two were sharp-tongued and immune to his charm (for now), but he was in paradise, surrounded by gorgeous women who didn’t even flinch at a wardrobe malfunction. If this wasn’t the start of the ultimate ecchi adventure, he didn’t know what was. “Just wait,” he muttered under his breath, already picturing beach episodes and accidental boob grabs. “This is gonna be legendary.”
Little did he know, he was walking into a world where his perverted fantasies would clash hilariously with a reality he couldn’t even begin to comprehend.
Want to know how it ends?
This is just the opening chapter. Continue the saga — or write a steamy tale starring you.