The courtyard of Sainan High School buzzed with the usual morning chaos—students chattering, sneakers scuffing against pavement, and the occasional shout of someone late for class. Rito Yūki, as per his daily ritual of disaster, was sprinting through the throng, his backpack half-zipped and his tie askew. His mind wasn’t on the looming math test or the homework he’d forgotten to do. No, it was on avoiding any of the mortifying encounters that seemed to stalk him like a predator. “Just get to class, don’t trip, don’t—oh no, not again,” he muttered to himself, dodging a group of giggling girls who eyed him like a wounded gazelle.
He didn’t see the blur of pink and white until it was too late. A high-pitched, gleeful squeal cut through the air. “Ritoooo!” Before he could react, Lala Satalin Deviluke, the alien princess with a knack for turning his life into a circus, launched herself at him. Her tackle-hug was a force of nature, all curves and enthusiasm, knocking the wind out of him as they collided.
“L-Lala! What are you—?!” Rito’s protest died in his throat as his foot caught on a stray soccer ball. The world tilted. With a yelp, he flailed, dragging Lala down with him. They crashed into a nearby bush, a tangle of limbs and rustling leaves. Rito’s face burned as he realized his hand was perilously close to places it absolutely shouldn’t be. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean—!”
Lala’s laughter bubbled up, bright and unapologetic, as she sprawled over him, her pink hair tickling his nose. “Oh, Rito, you’re so adorably clumsy! It’s like you fall just to get closer to me.” Her teal eyes sparkled with mischief as she pressed herself against him, clearly unbothered by their compromising position. “Isn’t this fun?”
“Fun?!” Rito’s voice cracked as he squirmed, trying to untangle himself without making things worse. “This is a disaster! Can you—uh—move a little? Please?”
Before Lala could respond with another teasing quip, a familiar voice cut through the chaos. “What on earth…?” Haruna Sairenji, Rito’s longtime crush and the embodiment of poised perfection, stood a few feet away, her arms crossed and her brow furrowed. Her deep blue eyes flicked between Rito’s tomato-red face and Lala’s shameless grin, a mix of confusion and irritation flickering across her features.
Lala, spotting Haruna, sat up with a delighted clap of her hands, inadvertently pushing Rito deeper into the bush. “Haruna! Perfect timing! Come join us—there’s plenty of room to get cozy!” Her voice carried across the courtyard, drawing curious stares from passing students. Rito wanted to melt into the ground.
Haruna’s lips pressed into a thin line as she marched over, her school skirt swishing with purpose. “Lala, do you even understand the concept of personal space? Or decency?” She shot a pointed look at Rito, who was still floundering in the foliage. “And you—stop looking like a guilty puppy. Honestly, how do you even manage to breathe without tripping into trouble?” She leaned down, grabbing Rito’s arm with a firm tug and hauling him out of the bush, her touch both gentle and commanding.
Rito stammered, brushing leaves off his uniform. “I-I didn’t mean to! It just… happened!”
“It always ‘just happens’ with you,” Haruna retorted, though the corner of her mouth twitched with amusement. She dusted off her hands, casting a sidelong glance at Lala, who was now standing and beaming like she’d orchestrated a masterpiece. “Let’s go. We’re late enough as it is.”
The trio headed toward the school building, Lala immediately latching onto Rito’s arm with a possessive grip. “Rito, you’re so lucky to have two beautiful girls escorting you! Don’t you feel special?” she chirped, pressing herself closer until Rito was practically vibrating with embarrassment.
Haruna, walking a few steps ahead, threw a sharp look over her shoulder. “Lala, if you squeeze him any tighter, he’s going to pop like a balloon. Give the poor boy some air.” Her tone was dry, but her eyes held a glint of something unreadable as they met Rito’s. He gulped, feeling like a mouse caught between two very determined cats.
As they passed the locker room on their way to gym class, Lala’s face lit up with a dangerous spark of inspiration. “Oh! Rito, I should help you change! It’ll be so much faster with my assistance!” She tugged at his sleeve, already trying to drag him through the door.
Rito’s eyes widened in horror. “W-what?! No! I’m fine! I can change by myself!” He planted his feet, but Lala’s strength was otherworldly—literally.
Haruna spun on her heel, her patience visibly fraying. “Lala, back off. Now.” Her voice was a whip, sharp and unyielding, as she stepped between them. Grabbing Rito by the collar of his shirt, she yanked him away from Lala’s grasp with a no-nonsense glare. “You’re hopeless without supervision, aren’t you?” she muttered under her breath, dragging him into the boys’ locker room while Lala pouted dramatically behind them.
Inside, the air was thick with the faint scent of sweat and old gym socks. Rito fumbled with his gym bag, his nerves shot from the morning’s chaos. As he pulled out his shirt, it slipped from his shaky hands, fluttering to the floor. He bent down to grab it at the exact moment Haruna did, their heads nearly colliding. They froze, inches apart, her breath warm against his cheek.
Haruna straightened first, holding out his shirt with a smirk that sent a jolt through him. “Try not to trip over your own feet next time, clumsy,” she teased, her voice low and laced with something that made his heart stutter. Her fingers brushed his as she handed it over, and Rito swore the room got ten degrees hotter.
Before he could muster a coherent response, the door burst open with a dramatic flourish. “Rito! I’ve got it!” Lala announced, holding up what could only be described as a travesty of fabric—some sort of skimpy, glittery gym outfit that looked like it belonged in a sci-fi burlesque show. “I invented a special uniform just for you! It’s aerodynamic and very… flattering!” She winked, twirling the abomination on her finger.
Haruna’s eyes narrowed into slits as she stepped in front of Rito, her posture radiating authority. “Lala, you’re a walking disaster with no concept of personal space—or common sense. Out. Now.” She didn’t wait for a response, seizing Rito’s arm again and steering him toward the exit with the efficiency of a drill sergeant. “Let’s go, before she decides to invent something even worse.”
As they stumbled into the hallway, Rito’s mind was a whirlwind of humiliation and confusion. Lala’s relentless enthusiasm trailed behind them, her laughter echoing as she called out promises to “improve” the outfit. Haruna’s grip on his arm was firm, her presence a grounding force amidst the storm. And all Rito could think was how his life had become a never-ending spiral of embarrassing chaos—one he wasn’t sure he’d ever escape.
“Seriously,” he groaned internally, “why me?”
Want to know how it ends?
This is just the opening chapter. Continue the saga — or write a steamy tale starring you.