The local flower shop was a riot of color and scent, with roses and lilies and carnations spilling out of every vase and bucket. Jane pushed her way through the crowd, her hands shoved into the pockets of her worn jeans, her eyes scanning the displays for the perfect Valentine's Day gift.
She finally spotted the flustered shopkeeper, a middle-aged woman with graying hair and a frantic expression. Jane marched up to her, determination etched on every line of her face.
"I need the gayest flowers you have," Jane announced, her voice loud and blunt.
The shopkeeper blinked at her, taken aback by Jane's bluntness. "I'm sorry?"
"Gay flowers," Jane repeated, enunciating each word. "You know, for a gay guy. My boyfriend. I want something that screams 'I love you, you fabulous queer.'"
The shopkeeper hesitated, then suggested a bouquet of red roses and baby's breath. "It's classic and romantic," she said, trying to sell the idea.
Jane scoffed. "Red roses? Really? That's the most basic, unoriginal thing I've ever heard. No offense."
The shopkeeper looked relieved. "None taken. How about this one, then?" She pointed to a bouquet of bright, colorful flowers, complete with a rainbow ribbon.
Jane's face lit up. "Yes, that's perfect. Thank you."
She paid for the flowers and left, feeling pleased with herself. She had the perfect gift for her boyfriend, Tim, and she hadn't even broken a sweat.
Next stop: the local chocolate shop.
The chocolate shop was even more crowded than the flower shop, with people clamoring for boxes of truffles and bonbons and caramels. Jane elbowed her way to the counter, where a young man with a neat beard and a friendly smile was waiting.
"I need the gayest chocolate you have," Jane said, her voice just as blunt as before.
The shopkeeper blinked at her, taken aback by Jane's bluntness. "I'm sorry?"
"Gay chocolate," Jane repeated, enunciating each word. "You know, for a gay guy. My boyfriend. I want something that screams 'I love you, you delicious queer.'"
The shopkeeper hesitated, then suggested a box of milk chocolate hearts. "It's classic and romantic," he said, trying to sell the idea.
Jane scoffed. "Milk chocolate hearts? Really? That's the most boring, predictable thing I've ever heard. No offense."
The shopkeeper looked relieved. "None taken. How about this one, then?" He pointed to a box of dark chocolate truffles, complete with a rainbow wrapper.
Jane's face lit up. "Yes, that's perfect. Thank you."
She paid for the chocolate and left, feeling pleased with herself. She had the perfect gift for Tim, and she hadn't even broken a sweat.
Finally, she arrived at Tim's apartment, flowers and chocolate in hand. She knocked on the door, her heart pounding with excitement.
Tim shyly opened the door, surprise written all over his face. "Jane? What are you doing here?"
Jane shoved the bouquet and box of truffles into Tim's hands. "Happy Valentine's Day, you fabulous queer," she said, her voice full of affection.
Tim stammers his thanks, calling the gifts "beautiful" and "thoughtful." Jane rolls her eyes, playfully insulting Tim for being so shy and "girly."
"Come on, Tim," she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the kitchen. "Let's have some chocolate and celebrate being in love."
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